Imperfect
by KittyBits
Summary: AU. Suddenly everything Derek knew wasn't true any more and his entire world centered around a guitar player eight years younger than him. A man. Trying to achieve success and keep cool showed to be surprisingly hard. Companion piece to Perfect. SLASH M/R


**Author's Note: Perfect received a really sad welcome, not only in reviews but in hits as well, so I'm going to punish you guys the only way I know how to: to give you more of what you don't want stink eye*. Although, I guess since you're here you actually wanted more. Well, this is a reward to you for being so very awesome – I ache from happiness knowing you're out there. **

**This story is kinda dedicated to Rayne McKenna and Koko77 because they reviewed Perfect. Thank you so much, guys!**

**Disclaimer: February is totally going to be my month, I can feel it, but so far I still don't own Criminal Minds. Just this puny plot**

- Music With Rocks In It -

"So what did Penelope say?" Aaron asked , his eyes staring holes in the coffee table. Derek wanted to throw his cell at something but doubted his aim was worth anything with the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

"She said Mr. Rossi might be able to find someone who would play for us, but it would be difficult and probably the best if we found a guitar player on ourselves anyway," he said and dropped his phone next to him on the couch. "She didn't sound very optimistic."

"Shit," Aaron murmured and rubbed his hands over his face. "What am I going to tell Haley? She's talking about moving out of the city, to Jersey or something so we can start the family she's always wanted. While we still had some time."

"She'll understand," Derek said without conviction.

"She'll be pissed." Aaron was right, Derek knew, so he opted to stay quiet with his fellow band member.

Until two hours before the future had seemed so promising to the band. David Rossi had shown to one of their gigs after much coercion from his assistant, Penelope, who Derek knew from some time back. And then their lead guitar player had upped and left, telling his friends that he wasn't interested in taking things further.

Emily, Aaron, and Derek's dream fell to the ground and shattered before their eyes as Jason grabbed his guitar case and closed the door behind him.

They had started drinking afterwards. Derek had a couple cases of beer in his refrigerator but Emily was heartbroken, the men more disappointed than they care to admit, and the beers were gone in less than two hours.

"Do you think Emily was the responsible choice for picking up more booze?" Derek asked as the thought occurred to him.

"I wasn't going to volunteer," Aaron said with a shrug. "And she needed to get out for a bit."

"I suppose she did," Derek admitted and picked up the empty beer can in front of him and weighed it in his hand. "I just has this feeling that she'll end up doing something stupid."

Aaron's head snapped up.

"You too?" The two almost-thirty-year-olds-and-still-only-in-the-dawn-of-their-musical-career looked at each other for three long seconds, then they jumped from their seats and grabbed their coats, halfway through the flat when the door flew open.

"BOYS," a loud female voices called from the hall and Derek only just had the chance to look up before a body collided with him. He looked up into two beautiful brown orbs belonging to some young college boy he hadn't seen before in his life. He looked past the stranger, his arms shooting out to steady the poor boy.

"Emily, what's going on?"

Emily beamed over the stranger's shoulder and flung the door closed behind her. She thrust her hand forward and Derek only then noticed the guitar in her hand. "I just solved all our problems!" She pushed past the boy but grabbed his hand on her way past and pulled him after her. He threw Derek a scared look.

"Is she crazy?" he asked in a whisper and Derek fought a smile.

"No, just very drunk," he explained and boy seemed to relax a bit.

"This is our new lead guitar," Emily told a scowling Aaron with a wide grin adorning her face.

"Do you even know his name?" Aaron asked back and Emily's smile fell a bit.

"Well, no-"

"You can't just pick up some kid off the street, Emily. You don't even know if he can actually _play_ the guitar-"

"Actually I _do_ know," Emily said and crossed her arms with a satisfied smirk. "I heard him play and went to ask him to join our band."

"She kind of broke into my apartment," the boy said and Emily flinched under Aaron's glare.

"I'm so sorry about this, kid," Derek said and put his hand on the boy's arm, ready to show him the way out.

"Spencer," the boy said, and stubbornly ignored Derek's hand. "My name is Spencer Reid, and I wouldn't have come here if I wasn't interested in what your friend told-"

"How _old _are you? Are you even legal?" Aaron interrupted.

"I'm nineteen and perfectly legal, thank you very much," Spencer said and narrowed his eyes.

"Not old enough to buy alcohol," the older man commented and Derek looked away to hide his grin.

"Just ignore them, Spencer, and tell them how it is. Or you know what would be even better? Play that thing you played when I broke into your bedroom! It was really good," Emily informed Derek before thrusting the guitar at the young man who caught it with a worried frown before Emily decided to let go of it. She took a step back and dropped down on the spot Derek had occupied a mere minute before and looked up at Spencer with an excited look on her face. "Just start any minute."

Spencer glanced at Derek, who took a step back to give the kid some space. Then the young man cleared his voice and took a deep breath. And then magic happened.

Derek was a drummer and the beat was in his blood, he didn't really care for deep lyrics or intricate melodies, but the way the kid's fingers ran and danced up and down the neck of the guitar were awe inspiring. It was probably the sexiest thing Derek had ever seen fingers do and with his amount of game he had seen a few things done by a pretty lady hand.

Those hands hadn't ever produced music like that, though, and the way Spencer teased all kinds of amazing notes from the guitar Derek wasn't surprised to feel a shiver run down his spine.

Then silence fell.

Spencer looked up. "So?" he asked, alternating between looking at Derek and Aaron as he had obviously already gotten Emily's approval. Derek fished his phone from his pocket after sharing a look with Aaron, and pulled up his phone log, calling the last used number.

"Hey Baby Girl," he said when the call connected. He looked up and grinned at the young man frowning at him. "We've just found a new lead guitarist."

- The -

He didn't notice during their first concert.

Rossi had managed to get them a few bigger gigs around town and Emily was happily walking around calling it 'Their First Actual Tour' which made Aaron scowl and Spencer point out that they never actually left the state, why there wasn't much tour over the short distances they had to cross. Derek was too happy, too nervous to do anything but focus on the drums and keeping the beat.

During the second concert he noticed the crowd.

It was terrifying, Derek realized, to have so many people watching you, only you, doing what you loved and what you wanted to be recognized doing. Of course the crowd turned out to be really nice to the band, but Derek had half an hour in the beginning wondering if the big group of men out on the left would actually storm the scene and hang the band for doing terrible things to music. He was kind of too relieved to actually notice anything else for the rest of that night, even when the gig ended and the band went down to the bar to celebrate with a few beers.

The third concert everything Derek thought he knew, changed.

He looked up after finishing a particularly tricky part of the beat in _Or So You Thought_ and met the eyes of a grinning Spencer.

BAM.

Everything seem to slide into view, and it was damn scaring, because what he really saw was a teenager soaked in sweat, with his bangs hanging into his eyes and a dopey smile and it was really fucking beautiful.

Derek's world tilted on its axis and his breath caught in his throat. He didn't know how, but his hands kept the beat running even while his head was too busy memorizing every detail of Spencer's face and then the young man turned back to face the crowd and Derek had no idea what had just happened.

But he wanted it to happen again.

Derek played the best set he had aver pulled off and was rewarded with three additional dopey grins.

It wasn't until after the gig ended and Emily and Aaron commented on his fervor that he was pulled from his stupor.

What exactly did he think he was doing? Playing cool to get someone's attention wasn't new to him, but he had never aimed his charms at a _man_ before, and this one was almost nine years his junior.

Derek went out and charmed two giggling best friends to take him back to their shared flat and he spent the rest of the night trying to persuade himself that he didn't see Spencer every time he closed his eyes and wished it was his flesh his nails bit into.

He fucked the girls for what seemed to be hours.

It probably was too – he just couldn't get off.

- Band -

"Derek," a timid voice said and Derek had to fight the grin that wanted to adorn his face every time Spencer was the one to initiate conversation with him.

"Spencer, my man, can I help you?" Derek leaned back on the awkward bus seat and tried to seem at ease. Spencer fidgeted on the seat across the aisle.

"You seem to be the one in my group of friends who has the most – and this is a term I only recently was taught about, and which I'm still not entirely comfortable using," deep breath, "'game'." Spencer looked at Derek with a frown he just wanted to smooth away with the tips of his fingers.

"I most certainly are," he assured his young friend. Even though Spencer really wasn't as young nor naive as he had been when he joined the band a year and a half ago.

Derek could hardly believe it had been so long himself.

"Perfect," Spencer said to which Derek internally replied, '_Oh yes you are.' "_I need some advise," Spencer continued to say.

"Oh?" Derek said, sudden nervousness making his voice croaky and hoarse. "With what?"

"Well," Spencer said and looked awkwardly down the hall and out the window, everywhere but at Derek's face. _Don't let there be a girl, please don't let there be a girl_, Derek chanted in his head and struggled to keep the smile on his face. It was overwhelmingly easy not to grin. "There kind of is this girl," Spencer confessed and Derek felt his world end as he felt his heart pummel to the ground .

"You've gotten yourself a girlfriend?" he asked and felt slightly relieved when Spencer's eyes widened in shock and he shook his head violently. "You need my help to land you one, then?" Derek realized and Spencer looked sheepish. And still so fucking beautiful Derek ached to kiss him.

"I guess you could put it like that," Spencer admitted and looked at his feet. Derek smiled faintly at the way Spencer's black Converse was suddenly so interesting.

"And I suppose there is one girl in particular you want to land, am I right?" Spencer nodded. "Who?"

"You know that girl, JJ?" _Oh, no._ "The one who's always doing something when we're about to go on stage and who's always yelling at all the roadies? Well, she's been really nice to me and, and she's the only one who calls me Spence, so I thought I might, perhaps... why are you looking at me like that?" Spencer had looked up from his shoes and Derek's heart had broken a little bit on the boy's behalf when he saw the hope and infatuation in his eyes.

"I'm sorry to have to break this to you, Kid, but JJ's engaged."

"Oh." It was breathless and hardly a word and Derek realized just then that he was actually in love with the young Spencer Reid, guitar player extraordinaire and genius in his spare time. He just wanted to pick him up and embrace him and tell him everything would be okay, that he loved him. Instead he patted his shoulder and they got drunk together in the back of the bus.

The following day Derek wrote, with a bit of assistance from Aaron, his first song. It was called _Return_ _It _ and everyone thought it was some sort of political statement. Only Derek knew better, and perhaps Aaron a bit too, even though he was kind enough not to comment on it.

It went,

_Give back what you took from me _

_Put it back where it belong_

_I don't care if you know it or not_

_For you I try to remain strong_

It wasn't about the men in Iraq as the popular opinion thought. It was about Derek's heart in Spencer's possession and no one seemed to be smart enough to see.

- With -

Spencer was laughing with Emily and Aaron and Derek was busy trying to drain the gallon of orange juice in front of him when Spencer's phone rang. He checked the caller and lit into a smile that could only mean one thing before hastily standing and stepping away a bit.

_Lila_.

"Hello Lila," Spencer said in his always slightly formal voice and Derek felt his inside start to burn. He really, really wanted to grab Spencer's phone and crush it in his hand. Then he would grab Spencer, and carry him, bridal style, back to the hotel room he had just checked out off and rip off his clothes and start kissing his way down that slim chest, over his abdomen down to the-

"Hate mail?" Spencer said and Derek was pulled from his fantasy. The baked beans on his plate suddenly deserved a lot of attention and he started shoveling into his mouth with a speed that earned him a disgusted look from Emily and a pair of narrowed eyes from Aaron. "Death threats? What, because of...?"

"What's going on with my boo?" Penelope Gracia asked from behind Derek and wrinkled her nose in distaste when he tried to reply with half-chewed food still in his mouth.

"It's Lila-" Emily started.

"Archer?"

"Yeah," Emily said and ignored Penelope's interruption. "Apparently she's been receiving hate mails."

"Really?" Penelope asked, eyes wide.

"Death threats, even," Emily added and Penelope's eyes looked seconds away from popping out of her skull.

"Do we know who sent them?" she asked and Aaron shook his head.

"Lila just broke up," a flat voice said and all eyes turned to Spencer who looked disbelieving at best. "Apparently some of my fans threatened to kill her if she didn't end our relationship."

"Oh my God," Penelope gushed and hurried to Spencer's side, wrapping him in one of those warm fuzzy hugs Derek had experienced a few times during his and Penelope's friendship. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just," Spencer swallowed, frowning at the breakfast table. "I think I need a moment alone." Penelope let him out of her embrace hesitantly and the four watched Spencer as he walked out of the restaurant.

"Do you think it's wise to let him be alone?" Emily asked everyone and no one in particular and they nodded. Derek felt guilty. She rose and followed Spencer quickly.

"I think I'm going to call Haley and Jack and tell them I love them," Aaron said and Penelope gaped at the statement. She stared at him as he exited the restaurant in the other end and then looked at Derek.

"Oh my gosh," she said breathlessly and dropped into the vacant chair Emily had occupied moments ago. "Can you believe that? Hate mail! And she is such a lovely girl. Poor thing." Penelope took Emily's cup of coffee and threw the contents back like a shot of whiskey. Then she looked back up at Derek and frowned. "Why do you look like you believe it?" she asked.

"I don't," Derek said and looked away.

"You do! And now you got this weird look on your face like you don't know whether to grin or die from embarrassment or guilt or something- oh my _God_! You didn't! Did you?" Derek looked at Penelope cautiously.

"Did what?"

"Send Lila those death threats?"

"Of course not," Derek exclaimed with more force than he thought was suitable.

"Sorry about that," Penelope said, cheeks reddening with embarrassment. "I don't know why I thought that – you would never do something like that, and it isn't like you have a reason to do it, like those crazy stalker groupies, not that I think that they have a legitimate reason- what did you say?" Derek had thought he said it under his breath but apparently Penelope had heard it anyway. He cursed his luck and rotten situation.

"I said, 'I only sent a bit of hate mail'," he said, voice trailing off and going quieter with every word. Penelope's mouth fell open.

"You did _what_?" she asked, her voice shrill.

"Please don't make me repeat it," he begged and covered his eyes with his hands.

"But why? Don't you want him to be happy? I thought you guys were, like, best friends or something?"

"I do and we are," Derek said passionately. He realized some of the other people in the restaurant were throwing him curious looks and tried to look smaller than he was.

"The why would you want to break up a perfectly happy relationship? You know he needs it after that miserable crush he had on Jayje." Derek didn't bother asking how she knew, she just did.

"She wasn't," he said instead and found that the right words were slipping his mind. "Shit," he muttered and earned himself a glare from Penelope. "She just wasn't good enough for him."

"I'm going to ask you something now," she said after a brief pause with a solemn look on her face, "and that question only have _one_ right answer. If you say something else or lie to me I will castrate you, cover your precious man grapes in Tabasco and make you eat them. Now, why would you want to break Spencer and Lila Archer up?"

Derek feat a drop of sweat run down his neck and it was suddenly very hard to breath properly. Could he pull off a lie?

No.

Simple as that, Penelope always knew.

And he was better than Lila even though he wasn't perfect.

Spencer deserved perfection.

"Because I love him."

A loud, excited squeak was quickly silenced by the combination of two mocha colored hands and two lily white ones pressing against two blood red lips. Derek dropped his hands after a moment and Penelope's followed shortly after.

"That's even better than I hoped," she whispered.

When night fell, much later that day, Derek realized that spilling his secrets had never felt better.

- Buddy's -

It came as a shock to everyone when Aaron got that one call. You could see it in his face as he listened to the phone; in the blink of an eye his face turned ashen and the always so cool bas guitarist's hands started to shake ever so slightly. Emily had to force the phone from his fingers and talk to what turned out to be a police officer on the other end of the line.

Haley and Jack had been in a car accident. A car had run into them and fled the scene immediately after. Some bystanders had called 911 but there was nothing the paramedics could do when they arrived.

Haley was declared dead at the scene.

Jack was staying with his aunt, miraculously he hadn't even been scratched.

They were in the middle of their third real tour in as many years but with no discussion and without the bus driver even asking, the bus was turned around and they arrived at Topeka airport only two hours later.

The burial was a quiet affair. Aaron and Jack was pale as sheets as the coffin was lowered into the ground and Derek had his arm around Penelope, who was bawling like a baby by his side. She had been the one to call Haley with all the small details Aaron didn't think of telling his wife and the two women had grown close over the years.

They never actually discussed it but the band members all sold their houses and flats and moved to Virginia to be closer to Jack's aunt. It was silently agreed that he would be staying with her when Aaron was out with the band and the rest were all there for the father and son, spare aunt and uncles if the need would come.

One afternoon when Emily had taken Jack to the playground Derek had called Aaron and invited him over to his new place, a bungalow in some anonymous looking neighborhood. Together they had renovated the basement, taking down walls and sound isolating the remaining till they were sure the neighbors wouldn't be able to hear a sound when Derek practiced his drumming.

Aaron cried when they were sitting in the finished room on two old beer crates, nursing lukewarm cups of coffee. Derek didn't know what to do and let the man cry in peace with the funny feeling that he had done what was needed from him.

Aaron hugged him for the first time in their relationship when he left.

Some days later Emily gave Derek a poster of the band after inspecting the room and finding the walls to be naked. It was huge and took up most of his southern wall. Emily stood in front, her arms crossed and a wicked smile on her lip. To her right Aaron was looking out with his usual stoic impression who the real person hadn't been able to pull off properly for months. Derek stood to Emily's left, his arms crossed too to emphasize his bulging muscles. Spencer was to his left, his expression open and with a look of innocence.

When Derek later felt down he liked to come down to the basement and just sit on the floor and look at it.

Spencer looked angelic.

- Guitar -

"Don't you think you should cut down a bit on your alcohol intake?" a cool voice asked behind Derek but he didn't care about Penelope's disapproval and threw the shot back.

"No," he said and sniggered to himself when he managed to slur the word. "Actually I think it needs company."

"I think it needs sleep," Penelope said and put a hand on his arm when he reached for the bottle.

"Don't do that," he said and pulled the arm gently from her grip. He knew better than to take his anger out on her. "Did you see them?"

"See what?" He turned on his stool and fixed her with an impatient look. He did not have the energy nor the mental capacity for her games. "I did," she admitted.

"They were all over him and they didn't even see how fucking _uncomfortable_ it made him. He was blushing like... like..." He groaned at the memory and the urge he had had to walk over and hit a woman for the first time in his life. "He looked so defenseless and I couldn't even step in and help him."

"Derek, you're too drunk right now. You need to go to bed." It was like looking at his mother, Derek thought when he looked into Penelope's eyes and saw nothing but motherly love and concern. He felt a pang of homesickness after Chicago, even if he hadn't lived there since he was eighteen.

"Fine," he muttered and gave the bottle of Jack in front of him a long yearning look before sliding off the stool and onto the ground. He had a hard time keeping his balance.

"Will you be able to find your room on your own?" Penelope asked with worry in her eyes.

"I'll manage just fine, Mama," Derek said and turned his back to her so he could roll his eyes at her fussing.

"Good, then go to bed – but be quiet. Spencer has the room beneath yours and he went to bed hours ago, just like the rest of the reasonable people. He doesn't need to be woken up by your stomping around right above him.

"I'll be quiet, alright? Just let me go to bed now before you give me a headache." Derek grumbled as he headed out the hallway and found the elevators. He was the only one in the foyer besides the starstruck night clerk who couldn't keep his eyes of Derek, but he was relieved when the doors slid open almost without a sound and he stepped in quickly to escape the clerks hungry eyes.

Now, where was it his room was again?

He searched his body and located his key car in his left back pocket.

4534. That meant forty fifth floor.

For some reason Derek's hand hovered over the button with the neat forty five printed on it. If he was staying in room forty five thirty four and Spencer was in the room right beneath him, then that meant he was in room forty _four _thirty four.

He hadn't even completed his line of thought before his index finger pressed the button saying forty four.

He was going to tell Spencer, he decided. It might be a whim, but it was slowly tearing him apart, the secret, the emotions, the overwhelming urge to find a white stallion so he could whisk Spencer away and save him from the horrors that were groupies and love interests that weren't in fact him, Derek.

The elevator doors slid open with a soft ping.

Alright, now he only needed to find room thirty four.

Twenty eight, he saw on the door a bit down the hall and started walking in that direction. Thirty. He was on the right track. Thirty one was across the hall, then thirty two, thirty three.

Derek stopped and looked at the door like it held the answers to all his secrets.

Fourteen thirty four.

He knocked.

And waited.

Then he knocked again.

Spencer had to be a heavy sleeper.

He knocked a third time and made to knock again right after, but the door open and his hand continued into the air next to a tired looking Spencer's ear.

He looked adorable.

Wasn't there something Derek was supposed to say to him?

"Sorry, man," he heard himself say from somewhere far away. "I'm wasted. Can I sleep here?" He didn't wait for an answer, too afraid that Spencer would turn him down and send him back to his own room. But he could see the queen size bed and the sheets were rumbled the way they did when somebody had been sleeping in them and when he sunk down onto it the sheets still felt warm and they smelled like _him_.

"Your bed is really nice, dude," he said in a groan and buried his face in a pillow, breathing in the scent of Spencer. "Smells like you." The bed was the most amazing place Derek had ever been. It was like he was wrapped in Spencer himself, feeling the residue heat and completely enveloped in his divine smell.

"Why are you here?" Spencer asked and he was just so cute when he looked confused like that.

Derek didn't feel like telling the truth. His previous idea was stupid.

"Can't find my own room," he said in a whiny tone. He pulled the covers up to make the smell stay and discovered to his joy that the cover smelled just as strongly of Spencer as the pillows.

He was in Spencer Heaven.

"But you could find mine?" Spencer asked from outside Heaven and he sounded so far away.

"I can always find you," Derek muttered and turned onto his side. When he closed his eyes he could almost feel Spencer behind him, wrapping his arms around him like his smell. "You're my best friend, Pretty Boy," he said and meant it and so much more that he couldn't express in words. It would ruin it.

God, it felt good lying in bed.

"I return the sentiment," Spencer said and Derek smiled lazily at his fancy choice of words. "But it doesn't make any sense that you can find my room and not yours."

"Nothing," Derek said slowly feeling his grip on reality slide away from him, "makes sense."

He breathed in deeply and let the smell overtake his senses. Spencer was everywhere. He was behind him, above him, in front of him. He was pressing soft kisses to his face while his fingers trailed down his body, raising goosebumps in their wake.

Derek opened his mouth to say something but Spencer smiled and shook his head and then his lips were on his and Derek _tasted_ him too and it was even better than smelling him. Spencer's hands were frantically trying to touch everywhere on Derek's body at the same time, feather light touches that was driving him wild so he grabbed hold on Spencer's hips to keep him there, to hold him close.

He ground his hips against Spencer's and the young man threw his head back and groaned. Derek repeated the movement and delighted in Spencer's reaction, in the sounds he was eliciting.

"'ello," Spencer said and it didn't make sense.

"What?" Derek asked and Spencer pressed kisses to Derek's eyelids. Their erections were pressed so close together, Derek could feel every inch of Spencer and it still wasn't enough. He rolled his hips.

"Penelope," Spencer moaned. Derek stopped abruptly.

"What did you say?" he asked incredulously.

"He said he couldn't find his own room," Spencer said and smiled at Derek who closed his eyes tightly. He opened them again and blinked against the light pouring in through the windows. He was alone in bed.

"Spencer?" he asked and searched the bed for him, but came up empty. He managed to look at the room without his eyes tearing up and realized where he was. "Why am I in your room?" he asked and felt horrible for having to act in front of his best friend. "And why do I feel so crappy?"

He felt like dying was a valid alternative to his current state.

"You got drunk," Spencer said and jumped to the coffee table by the couch. Derek looked down and noticed the raging morning wood his was sporting. Well, hell. "You couldn't find your own room so you woke me up and stole me bed. We're meeting with the others in the foyer in four minutes and twenty seven seconds. Penelope is going to hurt you – she got worried when she couldn't find you in your room. She has your things."

"Shit," Derek muttered without registering what Spencer said. Something about Penny.

Oh, shit.

"She's going to have my balls off if we don't run like the wind down there," he said and jumped off the bed while Spencer was still with his back to him. If he was out the door quickly enough he probably wouldn't notice the tent in his, admittedly very tight, pants.

He rushed to the elevator and felt deeply relieved when Spencer kept behind him even as they stepped in. He watched the numbers count down and tried really hard to think about Rossi doing sexy poses only clad in a Speedo. His effort helped his erection shrink somewhat.

"I overslept," Spencer said behind him and the erection twitched a bit as it tried to stay alive.

"No sweat man," Derek managed and let out a relieved breath when his woody gave up and died down. "I kicked you out of bed – it's all my fault." He gave Spencer a brief smile before turning back to the numbers.

He was dying for some pain killers and a bottle of coke.

"DEREK," greeted him as he stepped out the elevator and he shuffled over to Penelope feeling ashamed and waiting for her scolding. She kept saying things like 'what if you told him' and 'just _what_ were you thinking?' before ending with 'I was looking for you _all_ over, you big idiot'. Then she handed him two Advil and a bottle of coke and Derek would have asked for her hand in marriage if it would have been so wrong.

He downed the pills and half the coke before settling in his seat in front of Aaron and closed his eyes to rest for a moment.

He woke up somewhere in Arizona.

- In -

This interview was disastrous. If it hadn't been illegal and bad for the band's image Derek would have sucker punched the stupid, snooping radio host right in the nose _hours_ ago.

_Everyone _knew not to bring up Haley when they interviewed the band. And then Derek himself had been careless and brought up Spencer's letters. No one knew about his mother and Spencer wanted to keep it that way.

And Derek was going his damn best to keep it that way and kneaded the muscles in Spencer's shoulder trying and express how sorry he was for his slip.

And then he got back to thinking about how he could get back at the snooping bastard talking to Emily's breasts.

"-are you going to do it like all the others or is there something different waiting for the ten thousands of fans coming to see you ?" the idiot host asked.

"We're going to do a slightly longer show," Aaron said. Derek felt a smirk spread on his face when the host flinched at the obvious glare. Aaron was growing less and less discrete in his wooing of Emily. She was probably the only one unaware of his feelings.

"And with that our dear Hotch means that we have something of a surprise for our doting fans," the woman said seemingly happily, but Derek noticed the strain to her smile. She was growing sick of the interviewer too. "What this surprise is we won't tell though."

"And with that I think our time is up. Thank you so much for coming here."

"You're welcome," Emily said and Derek grunted, feeling words would be too much of a reaction. If he tried to say anything it would probably be of the lines of '_yeah, for you I'm sure'_ and Rossi would have his hide.

Spencer almost jumped from the room.

Derek felt the anger grow in him.

The producer had disappeared when he and Aaron exited the small studio and Emily was hastily following Spencer down the hall. Derek noticed a woman with a headset who he thought seemed vaguely familiar.

"Is the producer guy still here?" he asked her and got a beaming smile in return.

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Morgan, Mr. Johnson just left for an appointment, but if you want I cold take a message for him?" she thrust her bosom forwards and Derek graciously ignored it.

"Tell him, that if that jerk face who interviewed us isn't fired before the end of this week I promise him that we, and all the other bands from our label, will refuse to ever talk to _any_ of your so-called journalists. You got that?" He had kept his voice light, friendly, and the woman blinked at him in a stunned silence.

"Rob needs to go or you'll cut us off," she summed up quickly, her voice shaking.

"Sounds about right," Derek said and turned his back on her. He caught up with Aaron on his way out. "You alright, man?" he asked and contemplated throwing his arm over his shoulder.

"Is he going to get fired?" Aaron replied in a flat voice.

"I'll be surprised if he isn't," Derek said honestly. Embracing Aaron, even if only with one arm, would probably be too awkward and out of character for both of the men anyway. He had done his to better the situation. Beside the remark about his family he had gotten the lightest treatment.

Fucking asshole.

"Do you want to go back to the hotel and write an angry song together?" he asked and a small curve forming on Aaron's mouth made him feel better.

"Do you still have that piece of shit keyboard somewhere in the bus?" Aaron asked and Derek looked at the bass player indignantly.

"That is hardly a piece of shit keyboard," he objected.

"It has a setting for animal sounds, I think that just about qualifies it." Derek didn't dignify that with an answer and Aaron didn't talk either, so they made their way to the bus were they told one of the roadies hanging around to help them get the keyboard up to Derek's room where he and Aaron emptied his mini bar and wrote _Ode To The Snoop_.

They agreed that it was one of their finest pieces and passed out, sitting on the floor with their backs against the bed.

- It -

"I'm fucking tired," Derek said as he and Aaron stepped into the blackness beside the brightly lit stage.

"Me too," Aaron admitted and emptied the bottle of water he was handed in three long gulps. "I woke up with a crick in my neck. I couldn't turn my head for an hour."

Derek tried to hide his smile. "That's entirely your own fault." He looked at the remaining two members of the band still back out on the stage. Spencer was hiding behind Emily as someone in the crowd threw their underwear at them. "What is that secret, anyway?" he asked and looked back at Aaron who was staring fixedly at Emily.

"New song," he said simply.

"Can't hear anything they say," Derek muttered grumpily. The words didn't carry to the side of the stage, and no one had thought to connect some speakers. "Hey, Kevin, right?" he asked one of the stage hands and the guy grinned to him.

"Yeah," he said.

"Can you get me a head set or something so I can hear what those two clowns out on the stage are talking about?"

"Sure thing, I think I saw some right over..." the Kevin guy took a few steps back and searched a table. "Here!" He threw a headset at Derek, who easily caught it.

"Thanks, man," he called at the stage hand who waved back before hurrying past a miffed looking JJ.

"-friend of mine wrote this," he heard Emily say when he got the headset on," but that doesn't mean that the emotions behind it isn't just as honest and heartfelt than the feelings in my songs." Derek saw her look at Spencer with a nod. "The song is called _Perfect,_ I hope you'll like it."

It was a quiet song, the pace was low and melodious, Spencer's finger surely dancing over the strings of his guitar like he did sometimes when he was deep in thought during practice breaks. It wasn't like their usual stuff but Emily's velvet voice were smooth and low and Derek didn't hear the words as much as he felt them.

The song was sad.

Then Spencer joined in, singing a line in perfect harmony with Emily and Derek felt a shiver run down his back.

"Who wrote this?" he asked Aaron as Spencer played the bridge.

"A friend of Emily's wrote the lyrics I wrote the music," the man said, his eyes still on their lead singer.

Derek hummed in reply and tried to listen to the actual words.

"_The smile on his face_," Emily sang. It was gushing and girly and Derek smiled a bit at the teenage vibe.

"_The ache in my heart._" Spencer sang that part. The crowd loved him, Derek could hear the screams but only vaguely, as a part of the background noise, just a buzzing over the voice, not as full as Emily's, but simple. Honest.

"_He see me but_

_He really don't_," Emily continued. Derek had a funny feeling growing in his stomach. Something was nagging him and he couldn't for the life on him decide what it was.

"_Killing me not to be there with him._"

_Kills me that he doesn't love me_," Spencer sang. Derek couldn't breathe.

Sure, he didn't mean...?

"_Because he is all I think of_," Emily sang but Derek didn't register. Then the music changed, sped up a bit, intensified in some strange way.

"_My grip on him is slipping, like the grip on myself_," Emily belted and Derek could hear the strain in her voice, the pain she was trying to convey to the thousands of people looking on the two of them.

"_I thought I knew how to control this,"_ Spencer sang and it was breathlessly beautiful and it made Derek's heart ache to hear his friend and object of affection express such emotion. "_But now I doubt my strength."_

The music stopped and Derek and what seemed like everyone else in the stadium held their breath.

"_Because,_" Emily sang the last note clear and hitting somewhere deep inside of him. It was beautiful, the most perfect thing he had ever heard. Except.

It didn't sound as good as Spencer.

Who turned ever so slightly and looked right at him

"_To me you're perfect," _he sang.

Derek died inside.

"Aaron, I'm going to ask you this again, and if you don't answer truthfully, so help me God, I'll tell Emily how you feel about her," he said, his voice hoarse and croaking. "Who wrote this?"

"Spencer," Aaron said.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Derek detected that Emily was still singing. Something about sleeping and returning feelings. He didn't care, Spencer was still looking at him.

"_No one has taught me to win this fight, it kills me because I have to_," Spencer sang and Derek had started walking before the guitar hit the floor.

Spencer thought-

He felt-

He-

About _him_.

Of all people.

Derek pulled Spencer into a tight embrace, his heart was hammering in his chest and his mouth was too dry to form anything but a croak that disappeared in the sound of Emily singing next to them.

"I love you," Spencer whispered and Derek's breath hitched in his throat.

"Idiots," Emily said and Derek didn't care but smashed his and Spencer's lips together.

He was well aware that he wasn't perfect, but he had always been perfectly happy being imperfect and when Spencer's hands held onto his shirt like he was afraid he would disappear, Derek felt like he was good enough.

He could settle for that.


End file.
